Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. Seriously, don't do this. She ordered a sandwich then asked for me to configure it precisely to her complicated desires.
No wonder their girlfriends have to resort to lady magazines to gain insight into the buzzing hive that is the male mind. Now, someone in the comments will point out that it's not necessarily Cosmo giving this advice. Not the theft, or the attempted murder, or even the genital mutilation.
Who even writes like that? Create Account. And then this trendy young upstart seeks to confuse the sexually derptarded by throwing in the curveball that you need to "embrace your hairiness. Like me, you've probably seen sex on screen in a movie from behind the room divider Mom thought didn't have any cracks in it.
Then lick it off. If these don't skyrocket your pleasure and have him drowning in droolwe don't know what will. At its core, Cosmo is just a girl, standing in front of a boy, trying to figure cracked worst sex tips cosmo in Brampton to do with his penis.
IS IT?! They're trying to grasp at what they feel is a supreme force of creation, a thing so powerful that through its own will it came to be, the only conceivable force in all of time and space that could make itself exist, and from that single act gave birth to the vastness of all time and all things.
Pop a pair in, and go about your normal routine. The ideal position for you is bent over, aiming the showerhead at your hot spot while he's doing his thing from behind. Funny thing about adulthood: Spontaneous desk sex is hot, but clearing the desk beforehand in order to avoid any postcoital broken tchotchkes or destroyed tea rose arrangements is not.
My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character. Photoplasty Photoplasty.
Enjoy pooping in boxes and muttering vaguely about "that bitch" for the rest of your natural life. When you jab us in the ribs with a sharp stick. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple. Guess what?